Opportunities, Not Interruptions

Most moms I know have a [rough] plan each day, with some moms being more flexible about changes throughout the day than others. There are days packed with engagements, relaxed days, and every kind of day in between. Even those “lazy days” can be full of unplanned circumstances that can lead moms to bitterness and frustration as their expectations for the day are altered.

I want to share a radical story of what some may call an interruption to one mom’s day with the hope of showing that each “intrusion” can be an opportunity for God to work in and through us for His glory if we submit to Him.

There was a mom named Claire. She was going about her mundane day, carting her little ones home from a doctor’s appointment, trying to beat the clock to get them home for naps before they transformed into the monsters they become as a result of sleep deprivation. [All the moms said, “Amen.”] A woman walking on the side of the road, hunched over with her head down, caught Claire’s attention. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt drawn to this woman. The only explanation she could think of was the Holy Spirit prompting her to stop and offer a ride. This isn’t like her. She lives very cautiously, especially when her kids are with her. She called her husband to talk to him about it but found she was already turning the car around and telling him she was going to pick up this stranger. She stopped in the median and called out to the woman. Relief washed over the woman’s face as she ran to Claire’s car and climbed inside, asking if Claire knew where a certain road was in order to get this woman to her destination. Claire told the woman she was familiar with the area where the woman needed to go as she settled into the passenger’s seat. That’s when Claire noticed the dried blood on the woman’s face and shirt. She tenderly asked, “Are you ok?” The woman broke down, unable to speak. Claire told her, “It’s ok. I’m going to get you where you need to go. I’m Claire.” The woman looked up and, through the tears, said, “I’m Eliza.”

Claire turned the car back around and glanced over at Eliza when they stopped at the next traffic light. She told Eliza, “We can talk if you want to, but you don’t have to.” Eliza began to open up about the pattern of her life in meeting a guy, thinking he is wonderful, and having him turn out to be an abuser. The evening before, her boyfriend Kurt of four years hit her for the second time, leading to the blood on her face and clothes and her arrest when he called the police and his brother backed his story of Eliza hitting him first and him having to defend himself. Eliza now has two criminal domestic violence charges, though it is clear she is the victim, as evidenced by her black eye, bruised arm, and the dried blood. (She is also all of 100 pounds, and though Claire hadn’t seen the guy yet, she figured he was larger than Eliza.) Claire asked if Eliza was planning to go back to the house where Kurt was. She said yes, and Claire immediately offered to take Eliza to her home instead. Eliza felt going back to her boyfriend was her only option as her dog was there, and her dog is the only positive thing in her life. Claire continued driving, her heart growing heavier with each passing mile as she thought about leaving Eliza in this situation.

When they pulled into the semicircle driveway, Kurt was outside waiting, dialing the police to report her coming to his property, wanting them to arrest her again because he felt threatened, and sharing about how she hit him in the face the night before, though there was no indication of an altercation. Claire looked at Eliza and said, “If all you want is your dog, you can get your dog and get back in the car if you want to.” Eliza looked shocked and said yes, followed by, “What are you going to do with me, though?” Claire told her, “We’ll figure it out.” Eliza jumped out of the car and tried to get her dog from Kurt, who was holding the dog’s leash. Claire stepped out of the car and told Kurt he could let go of the leash now, and he did. Eliza dashed back to the car with her dog. Kurt, still on the phone with the police, stepped in front of the car. Claire, not one to think quickly on her feet, continued receiving wisdom from the Lord as she backed out of the gravel driveway, stirred up dust, and floored it before Kurt could make out the letters and numbers on the license plate. As soon as they were on the main highway, Claire started praying out loud what she had been praying silently: Lord, please give wisdom and discernment. Please protect us. Please bring much glory to Yourself.

Claire didn’t have anything figured out, so she decided she would go to her husband’s work to talk with him and determine how to proceed. On the way, Eliza opened up some more, giving Claire the privilege of seeing more of her tender and compassionate heart. Eliza was determined not to go back to Kurt this time. Eliza had a sister close by she was sure she could go stay with if she needed to, but she hadn’t been able to get in touch with her sister yet.

Claire’s husband Dan spoke with Eliza, and Eliza said that though she had heard everything before, the way he communicated was different as he told her many truths, including, “Kurt is a grown man; he can figure things out for himself. He will be fine. You don’t have to feel guilty. It is not your responsibility to fix him. Yes, he is a controlling and manipulative psychopath, but his biggest problem is that he is a sinner, and you cannot save him or change him.”

By the end of the conversation, Eliza took her dog to walk around while Claire and Dan spoke privately about what to do to help Eliza. With no reservations, Claire was ready to take Eliza back to their home and let her stay with them until she could get a job and secure her own apartment and phone while also paying off or working with a debt management company to cancel some of the debt Kurt racked up in her name on countless credit cards as another means to make her feel stuck with him. Dan, being even more cautious than Claire, hesitated as he said, “We don’t know her. Are you sure about this? What if something happens?” All Claire could think about was that as Christians, they were called to live sacrificially, even if it’s risky or foolish in the world’s eyes. She was reminded of an interview with Francis Chan on Focus on the Family about opening your home to those in need and saw this as an opportunity to be obedient and trust the Lord.

Eliza came home with Claire and her kids. Claire was given the chance to share with Eliza that she is created in the image of God and has dignity, value, and worth because God has said so. She shared about the love of God with Eliza, a love that resulted in action when Christ died and rose again on her behalf, a love that brings peace, hope, joy, and abundant life. Eliza was safe. Kurt had no idea where she was. She could rest and be renewed without worry, fear, or shame. She took a shower, put on clean clothes, and spent the afternoon outside with Claire, the kids, and her dog. She arranged with her sister to meet Claire later in the evening because she thought it would be best for her to stay with her sister and not be an intrusion any longer. When she said that, Claire’s heart stung as she thought about all the times she had seen “inconveniences” as interruptions or intrusions, instead of seeing opportunities.

After eating dinner with Claire’s family, Claire drove Eliza to a gas station where Eliza’s sister was waiting. Claire and Eliza exchanged phone numbers, and Eliza hugged Claire tightly, thanking her again for stopping to pick her up earlier in the day.

As she headed home, Claire kept playing over in her head statements Eliza made: “I wouldn’t have stopped to help someone who looked like me.” “You saved a life today. You really did.” “I will never forget you. Thank you for being the brave woman you are.” Claire didn’t feel like anything she did was brave or out of the ordinary, really. She knew that other people have the same desire to help people and, if they knew the circumstance, they would have intervened in Eliza’s situation. She knew some people would still consider what she did to be unwise, but she thought about James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” She thanked God for His protection and for the wisdom he supplied as she reflected on true wisdom. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Proverbs 9:10 

For the past two years, almost daily, Claire had been petitioning the Lord to give her wisdom and discernment, and He generously granted both in this situation. There is no way to know what may have happened if Claire hadn’t stopped, but she knows that for now, Eliza is safe. She is still praying that Eliza will not return to the dangerous situation out of which the Lord brought deliverance.

Claire is also praying that the Lord will continue changing her heart to view even the slightest interruption as an opportunity. Moms, each blow out diaper, skipped nap, unannounced visit from a neighbor, prolonged encounter at the store, stranger who needs help on the side of the road, Sunday morning meltdown getting ready for church, and forgotten item on the grocery list can be used to sanctify us as we lay down our desires and see the things that may inconvenience us as a means to make us more like Christ. Every day is full of opportunities if we believe that God has prepared good works for us to walk in (Ephesians 2:10).

As a disclaimer, I am not advocating that we must stop and assist each person we pass, but I do think that we can trust the Spirit to lead us to live in more “radical” ways. I want to end this post with a quote from David Platt’s book Radical. On page 216, Platt writes, “As Elisabeth Elliot points out, not even dying a martyr’s death is classified as extraordinary obedience when you are following a Savior who died on a cross. Suddenly a martyr's death seems like normal obedience. So what happens when radical obedience to Christ becomes the new normal? Are you willing to see? You have a choice. You can cling to short-term treasures that you cannot keep, or you can live for long-term treasures that you cannot lose.”