Kevin and
Beth were part of the first community group Stephen and I attended together at
Remedy Church. Simply being in Beth’s presence put me at ease as I was
saturated in the truth she always spoke. It has been six years since we were
part of that community group, and I have not taken advantage of the wealth of
wisdom that Beth possesses. When I made a list of moms I wanted to interview
and learn from, Beth was one of the first to come to my mind. She graciously
said yes to being interviewed, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to grow
in Christ as a result of Beth sharing her journey through motherhood. I am
humbled by the grace that characterizes Beth in the times of joy and in the
tribulations. Though trials are not the only trait of parenthood for Kevin and
Beth, they have experienced difficult circumstances and have continued to
glorify Christ. I hope you are encouraged by Beth’s beautiful story, too.
Background
How did you and Kevin meet?
We met doing the play Two Thieves and a Savior with NarroWay
Productions. I was twelve years old and actually met Kevin’s whole family.
How long did you date before Kevin proposed? How long was your
engagement?
We dated for seven years.
I know. It felt like I dated him my whole life. We were engaged for a year.
How old were you when you got married? How old was Kevin?
I was 22, and Kevin was
23.
Describe the season of life each of you were in as newlyweds.
Crazy. Insane. We were
both in school studying Christian Education and working full-time. We had good
jobs, but Kevin lost his job soon after we got married. He did side jobs until
starting a new job about three months later. We got pregnant very quickly, and I got sick 7 months
along but kept working anyways.
What were your thoughts about having children before you and
Kevin got married? Did you always want children? When did you want the children
to come? Did you want to have your children close together?
Kevin wanted a big family
since he came from a family with six children. We decided on three kids. We
didn’t know how soon we wanted kids, but we did want them close. They ended up
being a lot closer than we expected.
What dreams/goals/accomplishments did you and Kevin want to
achieve before having children? Were there any dreams/goals/accomplishments
that had to be delayed? What were your feelings about this? Have those feelings
changed?
We both wanted to finish school and settle into being married. We
dated for so long, which made us feel more ready for the next step. We were
both close to finishing school, but because of Isabella we had to postpone. I’m
still one semester, just four credits, away from graduating. I’ve thought about
going back to school, especially in this season with the girls in school. I am
such a perfectionist. Having things undone is stressful for me, but I look at
things differently now because of all that has happened. God has provided, and I’m
reminded that I’m not defined as a wife or mom by a degree.
Baby Blessing #1
How long were you married before finding out you were pregnant
with Olivia?
We had been married a month.
What was your initial reaction toward pregnancy and a coming
baby?
I was scared. I cried. I was freaked out about the timing. I
came down the stairs bawling. Kevin was in the middle of a conference call,
which he quickly ended to ask what was wrong. I was still crying as I told him
I was pregnant, but he was so excited.
What other thoughts and reactions did you experience prior to
Olivia’s arrival?
After the initial shock wore off, I became very excited and
loved the idea of having a baby.
Did you experience any complications when you were pregnant with
Olivia?
I had preeclampsia when I was eight months pregnant, and Olivia
was born at 34 weeks.
Describe your adjustment to motherhood.
We hadn’t even had a baby shower, so we didn’t have anything for
Olivia. Our family bought everything we needed and brought the car seat to the
hospital. Motherhood was a surreal feeling. I didn’t have a lot of time to
adjust because everything was so quick and abrupt.
Did having a baby affect your marriage? If so, in what ways?
Yeah. All things combined (still adjusting to marriage, a new
baby, Kevin’s new job) really affected our marriage. We just didn’t have much
alone time being married.
Baby Blessing #2
How old was Olivia when you found out you were pregnant with Isabella?
Olivia was nine months
old.
What was your reaction toward your second pregnancy?
I was happy, but it was just comical. I was kind of like, “Okay
God.”
What complications arose during your pregnancy with Isabella?
I was admitted to the hospital when I was 21 weeks pregnant and
put on hospitalized bed rest until 24 weeks. I had preeclampsia again. My blood
pressure was so high the doctors were scared I would have seizures.
How long was Isabella in the hospital before you were able to
bring her home?
She was born at 24 weeks and stayed in the hospital for 4
months.
Why did Isabella have to be in the hospital for so long?
She was just 15 ounces when she was born. All of her organs
weren’t fully developed, and she had difficulty eating since her digestive
system wasn’t fully developed.
How did you feel when you were apart from Isabella?
It was extremely difficult to be away from Bella, and I was very
emotional. Even when we were with her, we couldn’t directly touch her because
of how fragile her skin was. We had to wear rubber gloves to change her. We
didn’t want to be away from Bella, but we also didn’t want to leave Olivia, so
we took turns and family helped. I also was having to pump to be able to take
Bella milk, and one week I worked so hard to pump 20 little bottles. The milk
had to be frozen that we took to the hospital, so I had been putting it in the
freezer. The freezer was left cracked open overnight, so the milk thawed out
and I had to throw away all of that milk. I lost it at this point. I broke down
because I couldn’t provide the milk Bella needed and had to sign a waiver for
donor milk to be given to her.
What were your thoughts and feelings when you were finally able
to bring her home?
Such a weight was lifted when we brought her home on Father’s
Day. We were excited but nervous. This was still a whole new experience for us.
Bella only weighed 4 pounds and her immune system was not as strong since she
was a preemie.
Life with Baby Blessings
Describe your adjustment to life with two little ones.
Ours was never normal (only normal to us). Bella had 9 therapies
a week, and Olivia had an interventionist. I was working part-time when Bella
came home but went back to working full-time. We had two in diapers, and they
were in diapers longer than other kids. Our marriage suffered as my extra
attention went to the girls. I literally had nothing to give Kevin.
Share whatever you feel comfortable about your journey to the
diagnosis of autism for Olivia.
Olivia being diagnosed with autism was the most pivotal part of
my adult life. It was worse for me than everything that happened with Bella.
Olivia was the one thing in my life that was stable, so the diagnosis completely
took me off guard. Olivia had started talking and was doing all things on
schedule until one day she just stopped. She wouldn’t use her words anymore
around the time she was a year and a half old. She started having terrible fits
where she would bang her head on the wall and scratch her face. We were so
focused on caring for Bella, so at first we weren’t sure if Olivia was acting
out because of that. We noticed that it seemed like she was in reverse. She
stopped eating certain foods and lost all interaction with us. We decided to
have her assessed, but we didn’t think it would be anything serious. She was
two years old at the time. I was very angry when we received the results of the
assessments as all the emotions from our circumstances with Bella and Olivia
seemed to rise to the surface at once. We just caved in to ourselves and
stopped socializing for a time.
What interventions did Olivia receive?
Olivia received occupational and speech therapy.
What interventions did Isabella receive?
Isabella had an occupational, physical, and speech therapist.
The early interventionist worked on motor skills first before speech.
Describe your “typical” week when the girls were younger.
I was working full-time, so I scheduled therapy on my days off.
If I couldn’t be off work, the girls had therapy at their grandmother’s house. We
didn’t socialize as much because we didn’t have the time and because we had
simply retreated. I’m just not good at dealing with things or asking for help.
It was a very lonely and hard season. I didn’t know what to ask for because I
didn’t know what I needed, but I was doing the best I could.
Describe your “typical” week now.
Very redeeming. A breath of fresh air. After going through such
a big valley, things are awesome right now. The girls are both in school.
Olivia has three days of speech and an autism specialist works on social skills
with her two times a week in class. Bella has been dismissed from receiving
interventions for now until she is reassessed. I’m dying to myself more, and
I’m learning to be okay with the mess and imperfection. There are still crazy
times and hard seasons, but I would describe it as a messy beautiful.
What are some of your girls’ accomplishments you weren’t sure
you would be able to celebrate?
Their personalities are so big. Most of the time for kids with
autism, you don’t get to see their personalities. We also weren’t sure how much
speech Olivia would have, but she is speaking well and has gotten the resources
she needed to make progress. For Bella, we just weren’t sure what to expect.
With preemies, respiratory and immune system problems can arise, but Bella is
healthy, never sick, and so full of life.
How long did you work outside the home after the girls were
born?
Bella was born in 2010, and I stopped working in February of
2012.
Why did you decide to stay home?
I felt like the amount of time I was spending away could be
better used to do stuff with the girls, such as continue the work of the
therapists. I wanted to have the time to love on them like they needed. I
desired to dedicate and allocate the time to getting them caught up, and I had
the opportunity to stay home and not everyone does.
What sacrifices have you made in order to stay at home? How do
you feel about making those sacrifices?
We don’t make as many sacrifices as we probably should. If I
were still working, we could go on more trips and would have more options. We
have to be more selective about what to do with our money. I honestly feel fine
because the benefits outweigh the sacrifice as I get to know my girls and their
personalities in a way I couldn’t if I were still working. I don’t want to
guilt anyone who isn’t able to be home. I played both sides by working outside
the home and now being home, and it was beneficial to my kids for me to be
home.
What have you enjoyed the most about being a mom?
Experiencing all the cool stuff they do has been great. It’s
mind blowing caring so much for another human being. I’m more emotional and
open with them. They bring it out and are the catalyst to the best parts of me
that I don’t get to share with others. Also, having girls is just fun, and
they’re fun to dress.
What has been your biggest struggle?
Battling the question,
“Am I doing enough for them and as a mom?” I struggle with comparing myself to
other moms. I constantly need to remind myself that what one mom does for her
child is different than what we need to do because our circumstances are
different.
Additional Advice and
Encouragement
What is the most important lesson you have learned as a mother?
Always be prepared for things to go differently than you want
them to.
How has God used your children to change your heart? Describe
how He has changed you and is changing you.
God has used my girls to show me that there are areas where I
need to grow, such as trusting Him. He has grown that trust.
Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would want to do
differently or that you would change?
I would change the amount of help and community we allowed in
our lives during the hard times.
What is your advice to other moms who don’t have children with
special needs?
Keep an open mind. Talk at home with your children about
differences without stigmatizing and while embracing the differences. God made
us different, but we are loved the same. Answer your kids truthfully without
dismissing the questions they have.
What encouragement would you give to moms who have children with
special needs?
Always seek to find your normal, specific to you. Don’t compare
your house/family to others. Seek your normal and thrive off that.
What are you and Kevin doing to invest spiritually into the
lives of your girls?
Olivia is reading now, so she reads a devotional before bed. We
try to encourage them with opportunities to apply what they are learning. With
Operation Christmas Child and this season where giving is emphasized, we look
for teachable moments. We tell the girls how we give because God gave us His
Son. We are working on living out the Gospel practically in life with the
girls.
How do you and Kevin protect your marriage in the midst of
raising your little ones?
We spend a lot of time together. The girls still go to bed
pretty early, so we use that time to talk and be with one another. We call each
other during the day to check in. We schedule date nights and date one another.
We communicate. Our marriage is the best right now that it’s ever been.
How do you pursue Christ day to day?
I’m not perfect in this area either, but I’m learning how to
constantly be in pursuit of Christ and not relying on Beth Powell who wants to
do things in her own strength. I’ve had to dedicate myself and make every
effort. I preach to myself on a daily basis, even on the days it’s hard to believe
the Gospel. I keep telling myself truth.
What would your response be to the question, “How do you do it?”
in regards to being a mom who has experienced great trials?
There’s a lot of grace that goes into parenting. I accept the
grace God has given that covers all I’m tripping over. We’ve also been blessed
with families that live close and who help us in so many ways.
Thank
you, Beth, for stepping out of your comfort zone to bless us with your story.
Your vulnerability, grace filled responses, and desire to honor God as a mother
encourage me to hope in Christ. May God continue to be glorified as you
sacrifice moment by moment to point your children to everlasting joy in
Jesus.
