When Other Christian Moms Parent Against My Preferences

Christian moms are unique in that we should share a common goal: raising our children to know and love God wholeheartedly. In a culture of “Mommy Wars” and shaming other mothers, we should stand against these mindsets as women who are united in purpose, though we differ in preferences.

We as Christian moms have a clear calling from Scripture to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that Christ commanded (Matthew 28:19-20), and this would include our children. When questioned about the most important commandment of all, Jesus responded, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). By the power of the Holy Spirit, we should be striving to live out this commandment and shepherding our children’s hearts to do the same. Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” From childhood, Timothy was acquainted with the sacred writings, the Old Testament, which are able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus (2 Timothy 3:15). The commands of God should be on our hearts. We are to teach them diligently to our children and talk of them when we sit in our house, walk by the way, lie down, and rise (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Numerous other verses remind us to tell our children of God’s wondrous works and faithfulness (Deuteronomy 4:9, Deuteronomy 11:19, Isaiah 38:19, Psalm 78:4, and 1 Chronicles 28:9).

Knowing we are unified in the Lord who has given us a mutual objective should transform the ways we interact with one another regarding parenting. All too often, moms in the Church publicly and privately slander other moms, Christian or not, simply because they disagree with the approaches used in parenting. I am guilty, even if it’s “only” in my heart, of questioning a mother’s style when it differs from mine. I need to remember just as much as other Christian moms that we employ different methods that best enhance the personality of our individual families while making disciples.

I want to add that I am not advocating letting other mothers practice sinful or abusive tactics in parenting, for we know that our system of training our children should be administered in a way that honors Christ. We are not to provoke our children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). We should see to it that no one (our children or other moms) fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble (Hebrews 12:15). We are to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others (our children and other moms) more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). We are to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). We can use the guiding principles of God’s Word and be led by His Spirit to make our own decisions in how we parent, all while extending grace to other moms who are being led differently.

One way to fuel our worship of our creative and faithful God is to see how He has equipped a beautiful body of believing moms to raise up a generation for Him. There is no “one size fits all” methodology, but there is grace lavished on us by our good Father, and we should be leading the way in extending that same grace to other moms, regardless of their preferences in parenting.