The Hard Things

As I have been transitioning into motherhood, I was recently challenged by a dear friend to journal at the end of each day. Specifically I was supposed to write down the "hard things" about being a mom and thank God for them.

Friday, March 27th
- J woke me up because he was screaming and crying at 6:18 this morning. :(
- J's first nap only lasted about an hour instead of the usual 2 hours. He wouldn't go back to sleep, even though he was clearly tired.
- J had a dirty diaper and covered himself in spit up during his next nap.
- The rest of J's naps were only 45 minutes.

I must admit, being grateful for these hard things does not come easily!

I've been reading a book called Mom Enough, and my perspective has changed in light of this book. Just as my friend encouraged me to thank God for the hard things, the moms who contributed to Mom Enough have pointed me to the One who is always enough during my day to day struggles. Praise God that as I change another dirty diaper, I can thank Him for using it to sanctify me and conform me more into the image of Jesus!

I am so easily distracted by the temporal affairs of my life that I often neglect the weightier, spiritual parts of parenthood. When I step back and reflect on how quickly time truly does pass, I can more easily lead my heart to thankfulness instead of ingratitude. As a result of attending a study at another church in Rock Hill, I incorporated an idea into our weekly lives that can serve as a reminder to focus my heart on eternity. In the image below, the jar on the left was filled with 936 pennies, the number of weeks in 18 years if you multiply 18 and 52. Each Saturday, we move a penny into the jar on the right, representing the weeks we have invested in J's life. There are already 22 pennies in the jar on the right. Those are 22 weeks that we cannot get back. 

Usually, my heart despairs when I think of the time that is gone and all I wish I had done differently, but the Lord is growing me and changing me through motherhood. Because He is using the hard things to make me more like Himself, I can say, "Thank You, God, for using the sleepless nights, sleepless days, dirty diapers, spit up sessions, and other difficult aspects of motherhood to sanctify me." 

Through all of this, I am learning that I am not in control, but I know the One who is. I can trust the One who is in control. I can thank the One who is in control. I can direct my heart toward the One who is in control. 

My prayer now is:

God, use the difficult things to expose my selfishness and sin. Please supply the grace and strength to put to death the deeds of my flesh. Thank You for the victory secured by Christ through His death, burial, and resurrection. Though I am often not holy practically, help me remember I have been declared holy positionally. 

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14