I've Had a Good Day If…

My attitude is so easily shaped by my circumstances. I find myself telling people I’ve had a good day if J has napped well, if I accomplished all the tasks on my list, if ...

The rest of my day can be ruined if J wakes up too early or if he doesn't take a long morning nap, revealing the idolatrous way I exalt control in my life.

In the blog post The Idols of a Mother’s Heart, Christina Fox wrote these words: “When you are upset because you can’t do something you’ve wanted to do, it might be because that thing has become an idol in your heart.”

Ouch! That statement accurately describes my life when my day does not go as planned, which is every day. How can I war against this idol of my heart?

I read Psalm 90 yesterday and verse 12 confronted my thoughts about the definition of a “good day.”

I desperately long for a heart of wisdom. How is this “heart of wisdom” achieved?

“In view of the theme of the psalm, this refers especially to the ability to make the most of one’s days, since they are so few. The heart of wisdom would enable the faithful to live by the right priorities.” (note in the English Standard Version study Bible)

It’s not easy, but by the power of God’s Spirit in me, I can fix my gaze on Jesus and rely on Him to help me make the most of my days because they truly are so few. My sanctification requires my full participation. I cannot spend my days harboring bitterness toward God or others, reacting in anger when I realize I’m not in control, and expect to wake up tomorrow thankful for the time I have to parent my sweet little guy during my short sojourn on this earth. The days are too fleeting not to fight for contentment and God is too worthy for me to wallow in ingratitude.

I pray we will be people who pursue Jesus and declare our days are good because He is alive and working all things, even the hard things, for our good and His glory.

Why Blog?

 Why do you want to start a blog?

The first answers to this question are more sarcastic than serious, such as, “Well, as a new mother, I felt like I wasn't busy enough,” or, “Why not? Everyone else is blogging.”

I certainly don’t want to write a blog because I think I’m a gifted writer. The opposite is actually true. When I think of talented writers I know who blog, Brittany Perrotta, Melissa Powell, Carrie Blankenship, and Ruth Fujino come to my mind.

The real reason I decided to start blogging is because a couple of months ago our pastor challenged us to pray a big prayer during the service. I prayed for God to use me to proclaim the Gospel to thousands of moms. I prayed that God would save our children.

As I pondered how this prayer would be answered, I kept feeling the Lord press on my heart to start a blog about the stresses and joys of life, specifically as a mom. Even if I am the only reader, I will be one mom who hears the Gospel! I will be one mom motivated to parent for the glory of God based on the death of Christ for my sins, His burial, and His resurrection. I will be one mom who is encouraged to put all my hope in the finished work of Jesus on the cross as I stumble through this calling that I often don’t feel equipped to handle. I will be one mom who is reminded of the immeasurable grace God has extended to me and the power of God’s Spirit that resides in me, the Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead!

In the words of Lecrae and Tedashii, “Lord, use me up.”
If you don't like rap, you probably don't want to click the link above. J

The Hard Things

As I have been transitioning into motherhood, I was recently challenged by a dear friend to journal at the end of each day. Specifically I was supposed to write down the "hard things" about being a mom and thank God for them.

Friday, March 27th
- J woke me up because he was screaming and crying at 6:18 this morning. :(
- J's first nap only lasted about an hour instead of the usual 2 hours. He wouldn't go back to sleep, even though he was clearly tired.
- J had a dirty diaper and covered himself in spit up during his next nap.
- The rest of J's naps were only 45 minutes.

I must admit, being grateful for these hard things does not come easily!

I've been reading a book called Mom Enough, and my perspective has changed in light of this book. Just as my friend encouraged me to thank God for the hard things, the moms who contributed to Mom Enough have pointed me to the One who is always enough during my day to day struggles. Praise God that as I change another dirty diaper, I can thank Him for using it to sanctify me and conform me more into the image of Jesus!

I am so easily distracted by the temporal affairs of my life that I often neglect the weightier, spiritual parts of parenthood. When I step back and reflect on how quickly time truly does pass, I can more easily lead my heart to thankfulness instead of ingratitude. As a result of attending a study at another church in Rock Hill, I incorporated an idea into our weekly lives that can serve as a reminder to focus my heart on eternity. In the image below, the jar on the left was filled with 936 pennies, the number of weeks in 18 years if you multiply 18 and 52. Each Saturday, we move a penny into the jar on the right, representing the weeks we have invested in J's life. There are already 22 pennies in the jar on the right. Those are 22 weeks that we cannot get back. 

Usually, my heart despairs when I think of the time that is gone and all I wish I had done differently, but the Lord is growing me and changing me through motherhood. Because He is using the hard things to make me more like Himself, I can say, "Thank You, God, for using the sleepless nights, sleepless days, dirty diapers, spit up sessions, and other difficult aspects of motherhood to sanctify me." 

Through all of this, I am learning that I am not in control, but I know the One who is. I can trust the One who is in control. I can thank the One who is in control. I can direct my heart toward the One who is in control. 

My prayer now is:

God, use the difficult things to expose my selfishness and sin. Please supply the grace and strength to put to death the deeds of my flesh. Thank You for the victory secured by Christ through His death, burial, and resurrection. Though I am often not holy practically, help me remember I have been declared holy positionally. 

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14