Throughout my life, the Lord has richly blessed me by
surrounding me with godly mothers who share their wisdom and lives with me. Christie
is one of those moms who has been present for me, encouraging me and speaking
truth, since the Lord first brought her into my life. When I met Christie nine
years ago, she was the sweetest mom to three little ones. Now, she and Phud are
expecting their seventh baby blessing. Her kids range in age from 17 weeks
gestation to 13 years old. I’ve long wanted to sit down with Christie and get
her advice on all things mothering to help me and other moms in this
sanctifying role. My heart was so blessed to soak in her presence and hear her
heart, especially as I prepare to welcome baby #3. I hope your heart is
blessed, too.
Background
How did you and Phud meet?
We met when Phud transferred to Charleston Southern University.
We actually met on his first day in January of 1996 during the second semester
of my freshman year. Phud’s friend Jughead had convinced him to transfer to CSU
for youth ministry, and I was friends with Jughead’s girlfriend.
How long did you date before Phud proposed? How long was your
engagement?
We started dating in March of 1996, and he proposed May of the
next year. We got married in June 1998.
How old were you when you got married? How old was Phud?
I was 20, and Phud was 23.
Describe life as newlyweds. What surprised you the most about
marriage?
We lived in married housing at CSU. I was doing my student
teaching, and Phud was working for CSU as an enrollment counselor. He was also
working part-time at a church in their youth ministry. Being newlyweds was fun.
It was great to just be together and get to hang out with our friends who
provided a support system for us. One of the biggest challenges was balancing
our new life as a family and figuring out what that looked like with our
parents. Putting our new life together first and how our families worked in
that was difficult. I was most surprised by the role of working in a church and
how that affected us during holidays. I wasn’t able to be a part of holidays
with my family in the same way I was before getting married because we were
needed at the church.
What were your thoughts about having children before you and Phud
got married? Did you always want children? When did you want the children to
come? Did you want to have your children close together?
We both wanted a lot of kids. We had a plan, in our own minds,
for me to finish school and get my Masters and Phud to finish seminary prior to
having kids. Phud was thinking long-range at the time. I was ready to begin
having kids right away. I think that if we could go back, we probably would
have kids sooner. We didn’t really talk about having our kids close together.
What influenced your decision to begin trying to have children?
What thoughts ran through your mind during the months leading up to getting
pregnant? Can you share your experience?
During Phud’s first year in seminary while I was teaching, he
took an ethics class that influenced our decision for me to stop taking my
birth control. I was taking birth control because of a ruptured ovary and polycystic
ovary syndrome. I was medically advised not to stop my birth control until I
was ready to start fertility treatments because when I had stopped taking my
birth control a few years before, I had developed more cysts. I wasn’t supposed
to be able to naturally conceive, but when we decided that I would stop taking
my birth control, we didn’t start fertility treatments. It took us a year to
get pregnant. We were actually going to schedule an appointment with a
fertility specialist the month we found out we were expecting our first baby.
During this time, there were many fears running through my mind. I feared what
would happen medically, not being able to get pregnant, and having to be
hospitalized again. We had to fight for patience and trust.
Baby Blessings
How long were you married before finding out you were pregnant
with Jaycie?
We were married 5 years when we found out we were pregnant for
the first time.
What was your initial reaction toward pregnancy and a coming
baby?
There was extreme excitement, and I was completely overcome with
gratefulness.
What other thoughts and reactions did you experience prior to Jaycie’s
arrival?
I experienced normal fears. I also went into preterm labor 3
months early and was put on bedrest for 2 months. The medication I had to take
made me shake. Fear of losing Jaycie was present throughout this time.
Describe your adjustment to motherhood.
The adjustment was really hard. I had post-partum depression,
was scared, didn’t know what I was doing, and didn’t want to do anything that
would hurt Jaycie. She was colicky and screamed all the time, in addition to
other problems she had. I was often home alone, especially at night, because
Phud was working third shift at UPS, he had school, and he was volunteering as
a youth minister at a church. I developed recurring mastitis and had to have
surgery. I was also reading books that I now regret reading because they caused
me more stress as I tried to follow the book instead of doing what was best for
Jaycie.
Did having a baby affect your marriage? If so, in what ways?
Having a baby definitely strengthened our marriage as we had to
depend on each other more. Phud saw sides of me he hadn’t seen before and
handled it beautifully. We were scared together. There was certainly an added
strain on our marriage, but it brought us closer through it. We also had a
community group pushing us toward Christ.
What has been your initial reaction toward each pregnancy? What
other emotions have you experienced during your pregnancies?
With Charis, Aiden, and Mackalla, we were shocked but excited. Then
came Liam. Haha. We wanted to get finished with Phud’s PhD so this wasn’t in
our timing. I had also been put to sleep for a medical procedure before knowing
I was pregnant, so I was worried about the baby. I also had a disc rupture in
my back when I was 20 weeks pregnant and couldn’t move. When I got pregnant
with Tristan, we were again shocked but excited. Finding out about Evangeline
was a little more difficult for me. I wasn’t ready to be pregnant again because
I’m old and my body is tired. Selfishly I also wanted to lose some more weight,
and I wanted to get my varicose veins fixed to prevent this risk of blood clots
in a future pregnancy. With each pregnancy, I’ve experienced fears and
anxieties.
How would you describe each adjustment to a new child?
There are hard things about adjusting to a new child each time,
but they are quickly overcome. For the most part, the kids have always adjusted
well. They get more dependent on daddy, which is good for him. Also, reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child helped
me tremendously in each subsequent adjustment to a baby after Jaycie. This book
aided me in understanding the chemical makeup of our bodies and how to
naturally establish healthy sleep routines. I trust myself more to feed the
baby when the baby needs to be fed and this had made the transitions easier.
Ensuring the baby is fed, happy, and well rested and simply being comfortable
with the decisions I make instead of comparing myself to others or feeling like
a failure for not doing what the authors of a book say have made the
adjustments smoother.
How far apart are your kids?
They are all 2 years apart except Mackalla and Liam who are a
little over 3 years apart.
How much sleep do you get?
It depends. I get anywhere from 5-7 hours of sleep a night.
Right now, I am getting the most sleep I ever do because Phud sends me to bed.
I go to sleep between 11 and 12, get up to use the restroom throughout the
night, and wake up around 5 and try to go back to sleep until 6 when Tristan
wakes up each morning.
How have you been challenged or encouraged with your current
pregnancy as you are expecting your seventh baby blessing?
We had a test done at 12 weeks. The ultrasound revealed extra
fluid on her neck. The midwife was so upset that she couldn’t even tell us what
was going on as this was an indicator that something was wrong. She told us it
could be a heart defect or an indication of special needs. She told us to pray
that Jesus would heal her, and we did. We had faith that He would while
trusting Him even if He didn’t and believing that He is good and in control and
will carry us no matter what. 6 days later, we had an appointment with
Maternal-Fetal Medicine, and Evangeline is seemingly healed. The doctor said
she still could be born with problems, but nothing measured incorrectly. We
were so overjoyed. The specialist didn’t even understand. He pulled up our
original ultrasound to check and couldn’t explain what happened. All of this
was a huge encouragement to see Jesus’ healing hand and the power of prayer.
How do the older children assist with housework?
When I was pregnant with Liam and the disc in my back ruptured,
Jaycie was around 9. She had to step up. She started helping with cooking as I
instructed her from the couch. Phud started giving the kids little chores to
do, such as clean their own rooms and work together to clean the school room.
As they got older, he gave them more responsibilities. Now, the four oldest kids
all have specific kitchen chores after every meal and at 3:30, the kids do
daily house pick up chores. This includes them cleaning their own rooms, the
hallways and stairs, the loft, the school room, and Tristan’s room. We recently
implemented “deep clean Friday.” The kids vacuum, clean the bathrooms (toilets,
showers, counters, and mirrors), and empty the garbage cans throughout the
house. I still do the laundry, but they put it away. I have to keep on top of
them to make sure their chores are done correctly, but they do a good job. When
they do their chores begrudgingly or complain, we remind them that we are a
family and this is what it means to be part of a family, and we pay for their
food, housing, and clothes, so they can certainly help keep the house clean.
Describe your “typical” day during the school year.
There is a lot of trial and error to figure out what works
especially since things are always changing. Right now, if the kids are up
before 9, they start their school work. I wake up with Tristan at 6, and at
7:30, I go for a walk with Tristan and Aiden. Liam sometimes comes with us.
When we get back, I cook breakfast, and we eat at 9. At 9:30, the kids clean
the kitchen. We officially start school at 9:45 in the school room. I work with
the kids and rotate as needed. Tristan wreaks havoc! We have lunch at 12, and
the kids clean up the kitchen at 12:45. From 1-3, the kids finish school. When
they finish, they can go outside and play. At 3:30, the kids complete their
daily house pick up chores. At 4:00 Monday-Thursday, I take whoever has ballet.
The kids play outside until it is time for dinner. We eat dinner around 5:30 or
6. The kids clean up the kitchen again. One of us picks up the girls from ballet.
Some nights we pick up at 8 and other days are different. Technology is
reserved for the weekends. This, of course, is a perfect day, but let's be
real... not every day goes perfectly. (At all! Haha!!). As my college
professor, Dr. Lynda Karges-Bone, used to tell us, "Monitor and
adjust!" Haha!!
What are comments, positive or negative, you hear as a mother of
seven?
I mostly hear, “Woah, that’s a lot of kids” or “I could never
have that many kids.” Recently, a young woman pregnant with her first child
said, “What a blessing!” I’ve also heard, “You do know what causes this?” or
“There are things you can do to prevent that.” We’ve also been told, “One of
y’all needs to get fixed.”
How do you respond to negative comments, if you have received
any?
I just smile and say, “Yep, it’s a lot” or “Yes, we do” when
someone asks if we know what causes pregnancy. I always say, “They’re a
blessing.”
What would you want to say to someone who makes negative
comments?
The comments don’t bother me. I have just never cared and expect
it.
What sacrifices have you made in order to stay at home with your
children? How do you feel about making those sacrifices? Can you share about
your current work experience?
When we were engaged, a married couple advised us to live off
one income so that when we had kids, one of us could stay home and it wouldn’t
be a shock. We’ve always been wise with the income God has given us and are
used to frugal living. We learned to not have things, buy things, or go places.
We rarely take vacations. We try not to take on new debt, and we save up for
what we want. We sacrifice spontaneous outings, rarely dine out, and don’t have
new items. Sometimes it’s hard because I want to be able to spontaneously have
fun with the kids, like going to an amusement park or going out for ice cream,
but I’ve gotten used to it. The kids have also learned to save their own money
if they want to purchase items. Recently, Aiden bought a bike for himself. I am
still working for The Cordial Churchman. It can be unpredictable since it
depends on the number of orders, but typically Phud and I start working on
bowties after the two little ones go to bed. I usually sew from 7:30 to
midnight. Some mornings, I have to finish bowties before making breakfast if an
order needs to be mailed out that day.
How has your mothering changed over the years?
I’ve gained more wisdom the older I’ve gotten and the more
experience I’ve had. I have learned to give grace to the kids, understanding
they are all different, need to be disciplined differently, and things need to
be handled differently. My mothering includes more relying on Jesus to carry me
through instead of doing and solving things on my own. I am on my knees more
and trusting more that He will give the wisdom and strength. I also pray the
kids will forget what I say and do when I’m not parenting by the strength and
grace of Jesus.
What does parenting a teenager look like?
Oh, bless it. Parenting a teenager requires a lot of patience.
We have good moments where we do well navigating through the emotions. Then
there are times I don’t do well, but we talk when we both are calm. I pray for
God to give me His words and His wisdom. It really is a lot of fun, too. Teenagers
can understand things on a different level, but it is challenging because they
are still children in a lot of ways and need guidance. Neither teenagers nor I
know how to deal with their hormones. We are learning to roll with the moods
and shepherd in this in a different way than we’ve ever had to.
What is it like having a baby in the womb all the way up to a
teenager?
Lots of tired- ha! I am exhausted, but the older kids are so
sweet. They massage my feet and take care of me. The hard part is I can’t do a
lot of things with the kids because I’ve got to focus on the baby. I miss out
on fun things and Phud takes them. It is sweet and fun watching the older kids
interact with the younger ones and seeing how they love one another.
Additional Advice and Encouragement
When did Phud plant Remedy? Describe the church planting
experience for the Chambers family. What is it like being a pastor’s wife? How
can we be praying for you?
Remedy started in August of 2008 and officially launched in
January 2009. The church planting experience was a bag of mixed emotions. It
was so challenging and exhausting, but it was also exciting to see what God
would do through us and in us. There were encouraging and discouraging moments.
There were bouts of being overwhelmed and questioning, “What have we done?” God
used it to bring us closer to Him and to one another. Being a pastor’s wife is
probably one of the loneliest places I’ve ever been. There are moments of great
reward, watching God work in people’s hearts and lives, and great sadness at
seeing the hurt and anguish in people’s lives. It’s difficult trying to keep
our family focused, cared for, and together. I think there’s also a
misconception that everyone else is caring for the pastor’s family, while
expecting us to meet everyone’s needs in the church. I want to be there for
everyone, but I can’t. There is so much pressure to always be available.
There’s also the side of meeting new people and welcoming them, which results
in not knowing what is going on with old relationships. It’s difficult to love
everyone well and like I want to. You could pray that the Lord will protect and
strengthen us and give wisdom in raising our children well and in leading the
church well. Also, pray for older people to share their wisdom with us and
invest in us.
Tell me about everything your family has going on right now? How
has your family seen God working in the midst of this busy time in your lives?
Phud is the Lead Pastor at Remedy. He is still working on his
PhD. He is writing his dissertation and has to be done in the next year and a
half. He is also part of the Acts 29 assessment committee, writing for a blog
that a professor at CSU started, teaching at CSU every Monday, and coaching
flag football. After flag football is over, he will coach basketball. The girls
do ballet. We make bowties for The Cordial Churchman. I am homeschooling the
kids. I also cook dinner for corporate prayer once a month. We have seen God
giving us strength, patience, and perseverance because we get tired. He is also
providing for us in ways that blow our minds. It’s rare but means a lot when
people give us sweet notes and encourage us.
What does it look like to live missionally in the Chambers
house?
Living missionally means being out and on sports teams that
aren’t Christian sponsored, living in ways that people can see that Christ has
changed us. We get to build relationships with people through commonalities and
spend time with other families, loving on them and living out being a witness
of Christ. We get to share Jesus and talk about Him and what He has done. We
also read the Word with the kids and equip them to have conversations with
their friends.
What aspect of motherhood has been the most surprising?
I’ve been most surprised by how fast everything goes by with the
kids.
What has been your greatest joy in motherhood?
Just being with the kids, watching them laugh and enjoy one
another, and seeing the little ones learn brings me great joy.
What has been your greatest struggle in motherhood?
The greatest struggle is battling fear when the kids get sick or
hurt.
What is the most important lesson you have learned as a mother?
I’ve learned to treasure every day with them as if it was my
last, savor every fleeting moment, slow down, and enjoy them.
How has God used your children to change your heart? Describe
how He has changed you and is changing you.
God has used my kids to show me my sin. He humbles me greatly
when I see my sin come out in them. He has helped me give more grace to others and
myself.
Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would want to do
differently or that you would change?
I have lots of regrets. I would want to change how I disciplined
Jaycie. If I could change my parenting back then, there would be more grace,
more relying on God to give me strength, and more talking her through things.
What does it look like for you to abide in Christ during this
time in your life?
Abiding in Christ means praying continually, begging for His
words and His wisdom, begging for control of my tongue, and reading and
memorizing the Word to fight against satan.
If you could give new moms one piece of advice, what would you
tell them?
Stay in the Word, stay on your knees, and trust God to give you
the wisdom you need to parent and nurture your child. Confidently implement the
wisdom He gives.
What are you and Phud doing to invest spiritually into the lives
of your children?
We are praying for them, reading the Word to them, teaching them
truths, and disciplining and instructing them in the Lord.
How do you and Phud protect your marriage in the midst of
raising your children?
Phud reiterates to the kids that we are a team and our marriage
relationship comes first. At night, we spend time together and talk. Now that
Jaycie is older, she can watch the other kids sometimes for us to do things. We
pray for our marriage and for God to keep it strong.
What would your response be to the question, “How do you do it?”
in regards to being a mom of seven?
Only by the grace of God! And it’s true! I need to live in His
forgiveness, grace, and strength. There are really hard days and really awesome
days, and His grace is sufficient for both.
Thank
you, Christie, for opening up about what life looks like caring for a full
quiver. I am challenged and encouraged by your faith in Christ in every season
as God changes you as a wife, mom, friend, disciple, and maker of disciples
inside and outside of your home. May God continue to be glorified as you
sacrifice moment by moment to point your children to everlasting joy in
Jesus.
