(The content of this post may be offensive but that is not
my intention. My desire is that wives who love Jesus and who are able to have
children would seek the Lord regarding motherhood. I hope that all Christ
followers would be encouraged to examine their attitudes about children after
reading this post.)
Being a mother requires far more patience than I imagined. Far
more sacrifice, energy, resourcefulness, and time are necessary as a mom. Even
seven and a half months in, I am amazed by how much my life has changed since adding
“Mom” to my list of titles. Some mornings, I still wake up exhausted, and some
nights I still reminisce about when I was relatively relaxed (most of the
time).
When I dwell on the more difficult moments, I start acting
as if I believe opinions contrary to God’s Word. Children are far more of a
burden, an expense, a time suck, or a body changer than anything else. Having
kids means I cannot travel on a whim or live spontaneously anymore. I don’t
want to waste extravagant amounts of time taking care of someone who will be
ungrateful or resentful. Living my life to the fullest cannot be accomplished
by having children. I can’t pursue my dreams if I’m tied to home with a small
child.
I can honestly say that truly loving your children will mean
sacrificing something, they do require money, time will be invested, your body
is going to change, travel could be limited, spontaneity takes on a new form, your
kids may display ingratitude and irritation toward you, and certain dreams may
need to be delayed or dismissed. Your life will look different, but it won’t be
over.
A few days after our son was born, we were sitting in the
kitchen eating dinner while J silently slumbered in his bassinet. Out of
nowhere, my husband glanced at J, but the glance turned into a loving gaze as
tears streamed down my husband’s face. He whispered, “Oh buddy, how could I ever
have viewed you as only an expense.” We both have sacrificed a great deal as
parents, but we have gained much patience, tenderness, compassion, laughter,
contagious joy, and love.
Having children does not mean we cannot dream anymore. New
dreams can be followed as a family with children. Didn’t we learn anything from
Eugene in Tangled? (Ok, so his dream
didn’t change because of children, but it did change.)
I need to fight the lies about children with the truth of
Scripture. I must challenge my head and heart to not embrace a perspective
without thoroughly examining God’s Word. Solomon penned Psalm 127, and verse 3
is: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a
reward.”
Nancy Leigh DeMoss uses Scripture to tackle the question, “Are children truly a blessing from the Lord?” in the linked podcast. The answer is
a resounding, “Yes!” Everyone I know desires to be blessed, but few people open
their hands wide to receive children. We are determined to define our
blessings, and children don’t usually make the list. The attitude adopted
toward children is often that they are a burden, but the Lord explicitly illustrates
throughout His Word that they are a blessing.
Though motherhood is difficult and draining at times, my
beautiful baby boy is far more of a blessing than I ever imagined.
