Easy Fall Craft

I am not a crafty person (at all), but I just finished a simple fall display that is both cheap and charming! If you have older children and are looking for a fall project to complete together, they can assist with some of the steps.

Step 1. I bought wooden blocks (with a 40% off coupon) at Hobby Lobby. Using thin painters tape, I spelled out FALL on four of the blocks.

Step 2. We had some leftover brown spray paint from a previous project, so I spray painted all six faces of the blocks. (I painted five of the faces first. When the paint was dry to the touch, I painted the remaining face.) After the paint was dry, I peeled off the tape.

Step 3. I used red, orange, and yellow markers to color in the letters, but I lightly colored over the letters with the red marker at the end. I put the blocks on the small table by our front door with a petite pumpkin a friend gave to us.

Step 4. I purchased some 40% off fall garland from Hobby Lobby, cut a small portion off, and wrapped it around the blocks.

That’s it. An inexpensive and aesthetically pleasing fall display for your home.

From Bitter to Blessed: An Interview with Danielle Stocker

Danielle Stocker. How can I write about her without sounding like I idolize this breathtaking bombshell? As a mom, I aspire to be like her in so many ways. When I was teaching, I was able to go over to the Stocker home on Monday afternoons. The conversations, company, and coffee were always impeccable. Simply having the opportunity to live life alongside her, watching her joyfully love and serve her husband and two small children, was such a blessing to me. Danielle was open, honest, and vulnerable about the struggles of being a mom. I knew from these sweet Monday afternoons that bitterness had once clouded her perception of motherhood, but I also knew that our gracious God had lifted the clouds and turned bitterness into blessing. I asked her to share her story, and she kindly obliged. Perhaps you are a mom currently wrestling with resentment toward the children you are rearing. Even if you are reveling in every moment as a mom, my hope is that this post will point our hearts to the perfect Parent who always lavishes love on His children.

Background

How did you and TJ meet?

TJ and I met at our old church, now known as Calvary Chapel Charlotte. This dream boat was running sound and helping with all the random man things that the church needed.

Why did you two decide to start dating?

Our friends awkwardly introduced and reintroduced and reintroduced us… Until we decided (read: caved) to see what all the fuss was about. I did pull a Ruth and Boaz eventually though, because he was just not quite engaging at the, um, speed(?) that I felt things should be progressing. Please hold your gasps at my uncharacteristic impatience.

How long did you date before TJ proposed? How long was your engagement?

I feel like this requires a longer conversation since there were some real consequences to these decisions, but we dated for a few months, decided together that we wanted to get married as soon as possible, and were married within 7 months of the beginning of our relationship.

How old were you when you got married? How old was TJ?

I was 23 and TJ was 24.

Describe the season of life each of you were in as newlyweds.

I was attending college at Winthrop and working part time for my parents. TJ was a college graduate, and additionally, a young and handsome construction project manager at his dad’s business. We were living in the house that we live in now, but before the renovations, so, humble digs. We both loved Jesus but had an infinite amount of growing to do. I mean. We got schooled- quickly.

What were your thoughts about having children before you and TJ got married? Did you always want children? When did you want the children to come? Did you want to have your children close together?

We wanted children, in fact, we knew everything about how we were going to raise children, more specifically, how we weren’t going to raise them. <<young and proud though>> Since we had such a short dating/engagement, we wanted to wait a few years. But, yes, the plan was to have them close together, eventually. We even knew we wanted to name our first son Judah Michael.  

Did your thoughts about having children change? If so, how did they change?

Nope, we wanted them, still wanted to wait, but we were shocked when we got pregnant 7 months after our wedding. So, that was really tough. Mainly for me. TJ was cheesy excited.

What dreams/goals/accomplishments did you and TJ want to achieve before having children? Were there any dreams/goals/accomplishments that had to be delayed? What were your feelings about this? Have those feelings changed?

This is a big question so cut this if you want. But I wanted to finish my teaching degree and spend at least one summer in Barcelona immersing myself in the gorgeous language and culture. We wanted to save a bunch of money. We wanted to enjoy each other and all that newlywed-dom meant… Obviously this was all delayed.

Looking back at my bitter sentiments I feel like I have a renewed perspective. I see now that the Lord used Gabriella to essentially save our marriage. I was in a really tough place, dealing with a ton of emotion about the candidness of marriage. I couldn’t hide anymore. TJ knew me. Entirely. And that scared me. But I matured a ton in those 9 months, and obviously even more so since then. I see the value in what my kids have offered me. They are my Achilles heel. God has shown me my ugliest sin through them. Which is a gift, right? They are my olive press. TJ too, obviously. But he is much gentler with me.

Baby Blessing #1

How long were you married before finding out you were pregnant with Gabriella?

7 months.

What was your initial reaction toward pregnancy and a coming baby?

I was, honestly, bitter. I mourned for a good part of my pregnancy. I regret that. But I was crushed because I was so close to the college degree-and career start finish line. I know now that these feelings were deeply rooted in proving myself to my family and even myself. I felt like I was failing.

What other thoughts and reactions did you experience prior to Gabriella’s arrival?

Anxiety. I thought I was going to mess her up. I knew I had so few things figured out from my own childhood, I was just so concerned about how to do all the mom-things. I read A TON of books. All the books. Seriously. If you need a book on anything baby related. Call me.

Describe your adjustment to motherhood.

Girl. It felt, roughly, like that scene from the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy smacks her head just as the tornado takes up her house and she watches #allthescary whirl wildly past her window. Like that. (But still, have kids. It gets better, promise.)

Did having a baby affect your marriage? If so, in what ways?

It did. We were also living with TJ’s parents (they're sincerely the sweetest and most generous people) at the time because we had started to work on the house. But it was a really hard time for our marriage. We had done so little life together, I remember many whispering arguments. Also, postpartum recovery was unbelievable with Gabriella. I was broken for so long after she was born.

Baby Blessing #2

How old was Gabriella when you found out you were pregnant with Judah?

7 months.

What was your reaction toward your second pregnancy?

Shock. Again. Ha! We do know how babies are made. I think. But I was all, “Hey, we’re already in this thing pretty deep. What’s one more?”

Describe your adjustment to life with two little ones.

I feel like reflecting this way is bringing to light just how tough the first 3 years of our marriage were, because having Gabs and Judah 16 months apart was very hard on us. Hard on my body. Hard on our marriage. Seriously, it felt like we got sanctified in a microwave. Jesus taught us so much through the house renovations, through living with family with a newborn, through 2 kids only 16 months apart. But we built up a pool of some great stories. It was hysterical at times. Gabs was a handful. She had me busy. Thankfully, Judah slept for the first 6 months of his life. So I had the two hands I needed to keep her out of extra trouble. I still missed a few classic moments though, like that time that she clumsily pumped the hand sanitizer into her mouth, and then the time she drank the laundry stain remover. Or the time she literally painted her bedroom with Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.  I promise she wasn’t neglected, she was just crazy fast.  I eventually just saved Poison Control’s number into my phone.

Baby Blessing #3

How old was Gabriella and how old was Judah when you found out you were pregnant with Luca?

We slowed down. Gabs was 4 and Judah was 3.

What was your reaction toward your third pregnancy?

Actually, Luca was planned, so I was super relieved and excited once we were finally pregnant.

How did you help prepare Gabriella and Judah for Luca’s arrival?

Gabriella had been begging us for another sibling for the longest time, so she was game immediately. Judah took some time to warm up to the idea. But we kept talking about the baby and all of his needs and how busy mommy would be once he arrived.

How have Gabriella and Judah responded to Luca?

Gabriella has completely fallen for the chubby love. She is adorably affectionate and attentive toward him. She has been such an amazing and unexpected help through the transition. But Judah has taken much longer to warm up to Luca. In his own way Judah takes care of him too. He always reminds me that he needs to eat or he will walk by and pat the baby’s head and say things like “I love our baby” or he shows him off and asks people if they would  “like to see our baby.” And then I melt.

Even though Luca is super chill, he still requires extra attention, energy, and time. What have you and TJ been able to do to make sure Gabriella and Judah don’t feel excluded.

Well, foolishly we signed Judah up for soccer this past Spring just because I was so upset with how distant and lost he seemed to be in the shuffle and adjustment. He was having a hard time. He wouldn’t cuddle with me. That was so painful. I don’t think I realized how hard it would be on them. Like, I needed to fill their little love buckets while recovering from childbirth, taking care of a newborn and then recovering from the surprise appendectomy. It was a challenging and emotional 4 months. But I have made a habit of asking the kids to participate in baby care now, though. Partly out of necessity but also because they seem to light up when they are needed. We do try to give them one on one time when we can, especially at bed time.

Describe your “typical” day (even though every day can be different).

Typically, up at 6, 6:30- in the kitchen, prepping coffee and breakfast, Gabs and Judah have just started kindergarten and preschool, so we leave the house for school around 7:20- and then I get to come home, sometimes walk with a friend, and then I have some coffee and quiet time. Mostly I spend the day with Luca, eating him up and embracing every ounce of distraction he offers. And finally, after 3 kids, I found a baby wrap that I love, so often I am wearing Luca while I do all the things. In between his naps we do house chores, run errands, usually are doing something for or with somebody, plan whatever party/trip is coming up next (we are eternally hosting or planning something), and then I try to have dinner ready before I pick up the kids at 2:15. I spend a little while hearing about their day, getting them snacks and settled at home. They (sometimes) help me empty the dishwasher, put away their laundry (if I got that far), watch a couple cartoons, and then eat dinner around 5. Luca gets a little demanding in the evening so I have to hold him more and then feed him a veggie or fruit when we sit down for dinner. At this point the kids smell like damp puppies so they get a bath, and TJ is usually home by 6 so we read to them and pray and cuddle and put them all to bed, staggered between 6:45-7:45. Then we clean up the kitchen, prep for the next day, sit down and talk, read, or do some work on the random house things that are falling apart, or sometimes nothing at all, because exhaustion.

What are comments, positive or negative, you hear as a mother of three little ones?

I think the most challenging commentary is the one that would suggest that my children are or will be neglected in one way or another… Because I guess I have a philosophy now that is in conflict with our culture. But God calls the fruit of your youth a blessing- and that they are like arrows in the hand of a warrior. So sure, we have 3 kids, our budget is tight, our car is bursting at the seams. But I just don’t think that it’s wise for kids to think that they are the center of the universe. It’s untrue. I want them to learn to share, to do with less, to live well- with people.

How do you respond to negative comments?

I just do my best to accept that people are full of opinions. I was/am full of opinions. I like when people agree with me so it’s frustrating sometimes when they don’t see the beauty in our chaos.

What would you want to say to someone who makes negative comments?

I guess I would like to say that our choices- all of them, just because we chose them- that doesn’t mean that I think loving Christ and raising a family only looks one way… For us, this is what we have been given and this is how we are doing it, always prayerfully and carefully, stewarding our resources. Be intentional about yours, enjoy the freedom you have there, be diverse, look different, and seek out ways to embrace and even enjoy the spectrum.

What sacrifices have you made in order to stay at home with your children? How do you feel about making those sacrifices?

Obviously one income means less finances. So we don't have the most luxurious life. We are home, cooking in our kitchen, in the house that I love, the one that my husband and our fathers built, or with our family and friends in their homes most of the time. We have to wait a while, well at least from an American perspective, for the better and the new and the more. But the older I get, the more excited I get about contentment with this lifestyle. Because it means Jesus has done work here. I see something sweet about the inability to constantly pacify our material dreams. It’s character building. And truthfully, I feel like I live like royalty most days. My pantry is always full. My children are always dressed in beautiful clothes, mostly bought by their generous grandparents, clothes that we use until they are too tight and I have had to patch the holes. My car's gas tank has never run dry. There's always fresh ground coffee in the French Press. I mean, what more could a girl want? If He clothes the lilies, won't He clothe me? And even if those things dwindled or dried up, God is our real sustenance, and I trust that He would make provisions, whatever that would look like.

Additional Advice and Encouragement

What is the most important lesson you have learned as a mother?

Maybe so far I would say that I’ve learned that when I fall on my face, when I break and lose it and snap at my family, and I do, that there is so much beauty in how God redeems those moments. Every time that I repent in front of my children, they get to see the gospel. It’s one of the few perks of being so broken- because these children get to see what repentance looks like regularly and also, they get front row seats to the anchoring joy in knowing Christ.

How has God used your children to change your heart? Describe how He has changed you and is changing you.

He has shown me glimpses of the eternal value that my children offer my life. And since they are the first set of unbelievers that I have ever had the opportunity to pursue like this, I am learning and always trying to consider and reconsider my actions toward them as opportunities to express the Gospel. (Sometimes realizing how they're not such a great expression of the Gospel.) Also, God has used my children as the primary vehicle for my sanctification. Thanks to the persistent and constant interactions of parenting, I have a very clear picture of how sinful I am. And I can honestly look back over the past 5 years and see such tremendous growth. He has done amazing work on this hard heart. I am quicker to repent and apologize, I have more patience, I am slower to anger, less frequently overwhelmed and frustrated, more strategic about how I parent, but still learning to rest in God’s ability to cover my stumbles. I still very much struggle with showing myself mercy in parenting, I try, so hard, to catch my mistakes and parent perfectly, which is obviously a laugh. A good laugh. But I am a recovering perfectionist, and maybe not so far into recovery...

Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would want to do differently or that you would change?

Regrets. I am not sure you have that kind of time. Haha.

What is your advice to other moms who may not view children as a blessing?  

I feel like I spent the first couple years of parenting with that very perspective. SO my advice is to keep reading the things that scripture has to say about children, because honestly that was what changed my heart. Especially Psalm 127:3-5 and 139:13-16 and also John 16:21… I have also started to see the connection and reflection in how God delights in us and how we are called and given permission to delight in our children.

What are you and TJ doing to invest spiritually into the lives of your children?

We are always pouring into them. I know that’s vague but we really do consider raising our children the most serious job that we have. So it's constant. We do all that we can to talk about Jesus casually and also intentionally. We are fighting our sin in front of them and equally helping them to see their own. And TJ is an awesome reflection of God’s love to the kids. He is gentle and patient and slow to anger and he suffers long (bedtime though haha) and he is persistent and persevering, he truly lays his life down for his family and no job is below him. My children are getting such a special gift because they are being raised by my husband- Gabriella has thanked me so many times for marrying him. It's the sweetest thing.

How do you and TJ protect your marriage in the midst of raising your little ones?

Thankfully TJ and I are naturally like a couple of corny magnets. I mean, we have to separate at the beginning of the day, but by the end, the kids are in bed and we just naturally enjoy being together. So we do all the things together. We do dishes together. We pick up the house together. We sit on the couch and talk through our most current issues together. We watch shows together. We read together. We talk about my bible study questions together. We just started exercising together. I mean he is literally the most amazing man I have ever known. And obviously we have our issues, we have recurring sore spots in our marriage, but the Lord has given us so many tools to get through those moments, and we genuinely really enjoy being around one another. I'm so glad that it's so natural, because even though my kids dominate most of my time, and I would expect nothing less, when my kids leave home- I want TJ and I to be able to rest within the walls of a strong and beautiful marriage.

What do you wish people knew about you as a mother?

I feel like I leave so little mystery about who I am as a mother, especially after this interview, ha! So I can't imagine that there's anything you don't already know.

What would your response be to the question, “How do you do it?” in regards to being a mom of three small children?

I pray. I cry out to the Lord. I ask TJ to hold me. Haha! Mostly I embrace it more now than I used to. It's kind of like labor in a lot of ways. If you let go and give into the pain (quote by Jess Mueller), the progress is much smoother and way more efficient. It feels like that some days. Or pieces of some days. Bedtime, meal time, potty time. But it's also hilarious, and always changing and so sweet. All of these small Stockers are good for my heart. Also I find that I laugh more now, I laugh and then I take pictures, and if needed, then I deal with the discipline. I think that I pick my battles more now as well. And (this part doesn't always happen) on the days that my head is clear, I have built a habit of filtering my frustration through- is this battle-worthy, or is this just my preferences getting pushed around? That has helped a ton. And amazingly, I have great friends that pour into my heart and confirm and/or gently correct me when I need it.

Thank you, Danielle, for sharing the stresses and joys in your sanctifying journey through motherhood. I am humbled, encouraged, and challenged by your delight in God and the blessings He has given to you. May God continue to be glorified as you sacrifice moment by moment to point your children to everlasting joy in Jesus.  

The Reason We Waited to Have Kids (In Case You’re Curious)

Stephen and I were married for almost four and a half years before having kids. We weren't trying to be a Dual Income, No Kids family, but that’s the way it was for much longer than we expected. There were times I actually ached for a baby of my own, but month after month I found myself with no baby to rejoice over, no news to share. "What's wrong with me?" became the question I continually mulled over in my mind as we waited, sometimes impatiently, for a baby.

I was asked numerous times something to this effect: "When are y'all going to jump on the baby bandwagon?" People didn’t realize I desperately wanted to be on that bandwagon, but an honest answer isn't what they wanted to hear in passing: "Oh, yes, children. We’ve been trying but just haven't been successful yet.” It hurt to watch as women around me, even ones who were married for less time, were being blessed with babies. I struggled to rejoice outwardly with the women in my life because I was inwardly saying, "Pick me, Lord."

You see, we didn’t wait because we wanted to have more money in the bank, a house, or more time together. We did think it would be ideal to have children after I graduated, but we were seeking soft hearts to the Lord’s will. A few years passed by with no baby, so we stepped up our game. I received medical advice, personal advice, unsolicited advice, and to no avail. We weren’t waiting to have a baby because we wanted to wait. We had to wait as God taught me that He is the One in control of my womb (Genesis 18:13-14; 20:17-18; 21:1-2; 25:21; 29:31; 30:2; 30:22; Deuteronomy 28:11; 30:9; 1 Samuel 1:5-6; 1:19-20; Psalm 113:9; Matthew 1:18; 1:23; Luke 1:24-25; 1:34-37; Hebrews 11:11).

I know other couples who yearn for and pursue a baby blessing, some for much longer than we did, and I sympathize with them. The defeat and discouragement month after month was difficult as I wrestled with this simple truth: God is good.

“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32

The Father gave up His Son for me. Christ willingly suffered for and secured victory over my sin. Remembering that God took care of my greatest need, my need for a Savior, helped me trust Him in the waiting then and helps me trust Him in the waiting now because all of life’s seasons include waiting. My prayer is that I will wait well in the present and bring glory to my great God.

3 under 3 at 23: An Interview with Erica Keith

Did I get your attention? If so, I have accomplished a small fraction of my goal in publishing this post. The challenge now is to write in such a way that highlights the humility and grace of some dear friends we have that are the parents of three little ones under the age of three. All three of their children were born before Erica turned twenty-four. I couldn’t sit down with Erica to interview her due to the distance between us, but she generously gave of her time to answer some questions that allow us to peek into her daily life as a stay at home mother of Jack, Piper, and Wyatt, her three beautiful blessings. The centrality of God’s Word and the gospel in their home and in their parenting is evident, encouraging, and challenging. If you are a mom who desires to bring glory to God through your motherhood, I hope this post helps spur you on in this high and holy calling.

Background

How old were you when you got married? How old was Cameron?

I was 19 and Cameron was 20.

Why did you two choose to get married when you were so young?

We fell in love at a young age and knew we wanted to spend our lives together. We decided that getting married really young was better than dating for a few more years and then getting married. We wanted to eliminate any unnecessary temptation and sin.

Did people make any comments, positive or negative, about you two getting married? If so, what were some of the comments?

We got a lot of negative feedback when we told people. Most of the time people would try to be kind with their answers, but we could tell that they thought we were a little crazy and did not approve. We got a lot of questions like "Why?" and "How old are you?" People who were close to us were very supportive and understood our decision to get married young.

What were your thoughts about having children before you and Cameron got married? Did you always want children? When did you want the children to come? Did you want to have your children close together?

I have always loved children and wanted a lot of my own. I expected to wait a while before having children but wanted them all pretty close together. I've wanted to be a stay at home mom for as long as I can remember.

Baby Blessing #1

How long were you married before finding out you were pregnant with Jack? How old were you?

We had been married for a year and a half, and I was 20.

What was your initial reaction toward pregnancy and a coming baby?

I was shocked and scared. We had just moved to a different city for Cameron to finish his education, and we were both working part-time jobs. We had just left our hometown full of family and friends. We were in a transition period in our life, and it was not an ideal time to have a baby. I was just offered a new job and wasn't sure if they would hire me anymore when they found out I was pregnant and could only work for them for a few months. I had already quit my old job, so it was very scary.

What other thoughts and reactions did you experience prior to Jack’s arrival?

After the initial shock wore off, I was very excited to become a mom. We had a lot of things to

figure out. We were living in seminary housing and we had to move if Cameron quit school to

find a full-time job. Even though it was a stressful time full of unknowns, I was so excited to start the new chapter in our lives.

Describe your adjustment to motherhood.

In some ways it was a smooth transition, but in a lot of ways it was very difficult. Before having

Jack I was a nanny, so I've been working with kids for a long time. I was comfortable being in the home with a child, but it is so different caring for your own child. I didn't get to go home at 5 and come back at 8 in the morning. I was up at least 3 times a night at first and trying to recover from birthing him. Being isolated at home all day with no adult interaction was hard. I eventually was able to get out and hang out with other moms, which made it a lot easier on me. It was really helpful for me to set a schedule for me and for Jack. That helped me to be able to rest and also get things done.

Did having a baby affect your marriage? If so, in what ways?

Having children has affected our marriage. We had to start setting aside alone time, whereas before we had alone time almost every evening. We found ourselves arguing and tense toward each other more easily. We have found that communication is key. We need to let each other know what is going on and when we are bothered by something so that we can work on it and serve each other well. It has taken us a while to learn this and to adjust to the chaos of having children.

What dreams/goals/accomplishments did you and Cameron want to achieve before having children? Are there any dreams/goals/accomplishments that are being delayed? What are your feelings about this?

We wanted to graduate college before having kids. We both were about half way through when we found out that we were pregnant with Jack. Cameron had to put school on hold and get a full-time job, and I decided to stop pursuing a degree to be a stay at home mom. I've never wanted a career, so not finishing didn't really bother me. Cameron is about to start classes again after taking two and a half years off. This was not ideal, but we have made ends meet and will push through the last two years of his education on one income.

Baby Blessing #2

How old was Jack when you found out you were pregnant with Piper? How old were you?

Jack was 7 months old, and I was 21.

What was your reaction toward your second pregnancy?

We were excited. Piper came a little quicker than we expected, but we wanted them to be close in age.

Describe your adjustment to life with two little ones.

I think that the adjustment from one to two was harder than the adjustment from two to three. I had to learn to multitask. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that I had to share my attention between two babies. It was hard and very draining at first, but I got the hang of it and it became very fun. I enjoyed having two children who could play together and help entertain each other.

Baby Blessing #3

How old was Jack and how old was Piper when you found out you were pregnant with Wyatt?

How old were you?

Jack was 21 months, Piper was 7 months, and I was 23.

What was your reaction toward your third pregnancy?

Wyatt was a huge surprise. We were planning to wait a couple of years before having our third child. I was very worn out from going through two consecutive pregnancies and having to care for two children under two years old.

How old were you when Wyatt was born?

I was 23.

How has life been with three little ones? Describe your “typical” day (even though every day can be different).

Our life is chaotic but fun. Sometimes I feel as though I'm not going to make it through the day without having a breakdown, but the smiles, hugs, and giggles somehow get me through. I'm usually up between 5:00 and 6:00 feeding Wyatt. I get another hour or so of sleep before the older two wake up. We have breakfast between 7:30 and 8:30 and play around the house for an hour or two. After that we go outside for a walk and to play on the playground across the street or meet friends at a park or at someone's home for a play date. We eat lunch at 12:00 and Jack and Piper go down for a nap at 1:00. I get to spend one on one time with Wyatt, get some things done around the house, and spend time in the Word while they nap. Jack and Piper wake up from their nap around 3:30 and have a snack. Wyatt spends time in his swing, and Jack and Piper play in the living room or on the back patio while I make dinner and do a little more cleaning. Cameron gets home by 5:30, and we eat dinner soon after. Cameron walks us through a passage of scripture while we eat dinner. It isn't lengthy or in depth, but this is the only time we can get the kids to sit still for an extended period of time. We spend time playing as a family before the kids go to bed at 8:00. Cameron reads Jack a story from The Jesus Storybook Bible, and I rock Piper to sleep. After that, Cameron and I get a couple of hours to ourselves and with

Wyatt before bed.

What are comments, positive or negative, you hear as a young (and stunning J) mother of three little ones?

No one believes that I have three kids. If my kids aren't with me, people tend to think I'm a high school student and are shocked to find out that I'm married with three kids. When I'm out with my kids I'm usually mistaken for their babysitter or nanny. I get a lot of pity glances and comments like, "Wow! You have your hands full!" People constantly offer me help and ask if I'm ok.

How do you respond to negative comments?

I'm usually pretty understanding because, let's face it, I really do look like I'm 16. I sometimes laugh it off or say something like, "It's busy, but it's a lot of fun!"

What would you want to say to someone who makes negative comments?

I'd like to explain that I am happily married and really enjoy having three awesome kids. I would also like to explain that my life is not mine to live selfishly. I'm not wasting my twenties being a mom. I take my job seriously. Cameron and I are working hard to raise godly men and women who will greatly impact the church and the world. I am not perfect and sometimes I look crazy and make a scene in the grocery store, but I've devoted my life to this and deeply desire to succeed.

What sacrifices have you made in order to stay at home with your children? How do you feel about making those sacrifices?

We have had to make a lot of sacrifices. We live on an extremely tight budget. We don't have the funds for a lot of extra things. We don't get to take vacations, eat out a lot, or do fun things like go to the movies, but we have decided that these sacrifices are worth making. I'm so thankful to be able to stay home with my kids. I'm glad that I am the one who is responsible for teaching them and loving them during the day. I would not want to leave that up to someone else. Don't get me wrong, I do sometimes get bummed that we can't do some of the things that other families get to do, but I have to remind myself why I am doing this. When I remember the benefits of staying home, I am more than happy to make these sacrifices for the good of my kids.

Additional Advice and Encouragement

What is the most important lesson you have learned as a mother?

I've learned a lot about myself. I am shown every day just how selfish and sinful I am. It has been such a sanctifying season of life, and I am very thankful for that. It's not easy and I fail a ton, but I've seen growth in many areas of my life and that is encouraging and hopeful.

Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would want to do differently or that you would change?

I struggle a lot with regret. I over analyze a lot of what I do, and it's really hard to not nitpick everything that I do and feel like a failure. But, I have to remind myself that I am being sanctified and ultimately the Lord is in control of my life and my kids' lives. He has us all in his hands. I cannot be perfect no matter how hard I try and He gets more glory when I lean on Him in my imperfection than if I try to do everything on my own.

What is your advice to other moms who may not view children as a blessing?

I would encourage them to try to look at their life as not their own to live as they want. Take on the role of a servant. This is what is glorifying to the Lord. It with ultimately bring you more satisfaction than living selfishly or doing the easy thing. Children are a lot of work. It is both physically and emotionally draining to raise children, but we are called to be fruitful. The Lord has promised blessing for those who are obedient. We are to love and cherish our children as Jesus does. They are made in his image.

What are you and Cameron doing to invest spiritually into the lives of your children?

We try to talk about God and scripture whenever we can. We read a story from The Jesus Storybook Bible every night before bed. I HIGHLY recommend this book to parents with young children. We pray with them and for them. Cameron reads a small passage of scripture at dinner and we have a short, simple discussion about it. When we discipline them, we remind them that when they obey mommy and daddy they are obeying God and that pleases Him, and when they disobey mommy and daddy, they sin against God. We have also started to work on memory verses with our oldest. He is not quite three years old, so it takes a long time and we have to pick simple verses, but we want him to start this discipline young. We try to be honest with them and apologize to them when we are wrong. We do not want them to have a legalistic view of Christianity and we want them to see that we need Jesus just as much as they do. We also want to encourage honesty and transparency. We want to model confession and repentance for them and emphasize the importance of it.

How do you and Cameron protect your marriage in the midst of raising three beautiful babies?

We have to set aside time for dates, alone time, and time together in the Word. We try really hard to protect this time because we know that we need it. We have such a great community who is always offering to babysit for us and help out. We try to discuss things ahead of time and make sure we are on the same page with things like discipline and nutrition. We want our kids to see us as a team and never see us arguing or disagreeing in front of them.

What do you wish people knew about you as a mother?

I want people to know that I am very far from perfect. I fail constantly. I disappoint myself and my family, I sin, I get frustrated and angry... The list goes on and on. I have days that are so discouraging that I don't think that I am cut out to be a mom, and I feel like giving up. I don't want people to think that I have it all together. If I do seem successful in any way, it is ONLY by God's grace. He deserves the glory, not me.

What would your response be to the question, “How do you do it?” in regards to being a mom of three small children?

It is truly only by the grace of God. He gives me the strength to keep going when I don't think I can. And, again, I don't do it perfectly. I fail constantly and am able to lean on Him for grace and strength.

Thank you, Erica, for giving us a glimpse into your heart and home. I appreciate your honesty, and I have been challenged to press into Christ for strength each day. May God continue to be glorified as you sacrifice moment by moment to point your children to everlasting joy in Jesus. 

Far More than I Imagined

(The content of this post may be offensive but that is not my intention. My desire is that wives who love Jesus and who are able to have children would seek the Lord regarding motherhood. I hope that all Christ followers would be encouraged to examine their attitudes about children after reading this post.)

Being a mother requires far more patience than I imagined. Far more sacrifice, energy, resourcefulness, and time are necessary as a mom. Even seven and a half months in, I am amazed by how much my life has changed since adding “Mom” to my list of titles. Some mornings, I still wake up exhausted, and some nights I still reminisce about when I was relatively relaxed (most of the time).     

When I dwell on the more difficult moments, I start acting as if I believe opinions contrary to God’s Word. Children are far more of a burden, an expense, a time suck, or a body changer than anything else. Having kids means I cannot travel on a whim or live spontaneously anymore. I don’t want to waste extravagant amounts of time taking care of someone who will be ungrateful or resentful. Living my life to the fullest cannot be accomplished by having children. I can’t pursue my dreams if I’m tied to home with a small child.

I can honestly say that truly loving your children will mean sacrificing something, they do require money, time will be invested, your body is going to change, travel could be limited, spontaneity takes on a new form, your kids may display ingratitude and irritation toward you, and certain dreams may need to be delayed or dismissed. Your life will look different, but it won’t be over.

A few days after our son was born, we were sitting in the kitchen eating dinner while J silently slumbered in his bassinet. Out of nowhere, my husband glanced at J, but the glance turned into a loving gaze as tears streamed down my husband’s face. He whispered, “Oh buddy, how could I ever have viewed you as only an expense.” We both have sacrificed a great deal as parents, but we have gained much patience, tenderness, compassion, laughter, contagious joy, and love.

Having children does not mean we cannot dream anymore. New dreams can be followed as a family with children. Didn’t we learn anything from Eugene in Tangled? (Ok, so his dream didn’t change because of children, but it did change.)

I need to fight the lies about children with the truth of Scripture. I must challenge my head and heart to not embrace a perspective without thoroughly examining God’s Word. Solomon penned Psalm 127, and verse 3 is: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Nancy Leigh DeMoss uses Scripture to tackle the question, “Are children truly a blessing from the Lord?” in the linked podcast. The answer is a resounding, “Yes!” Everyone I know desires to be blessed, but few people open their hands wide to receive children. We are determined to define our blessings, and children don’t usually make the list. The attitude adopted toward children is often that they are a burden, but the Lord explicitly illustrates throughout His Word that they are a blessing.  

Though motherhood is difficult and draining at times, my beautiful baby boy is far more of a blessing than I ever imagined.